December 2011 - DoodiePants

Archive for December, 2011

Dec

Dead Babies Make Great Lotion

Disturbing

Picture of baby giving the middle finger

Not Appreciated

For those with a penchant for the disturbing…….there’s a cosmetics company by the name of “Neocutis” that is using pieces of human fetal tissue in their skin moisturizer products. The company developed PSP for the treatment of skin ulcers, burns and scarring and soon recognized the ingredient’s value in restoring aging skin. Neocutis cosmetic products using the cell line include Bio-Restorative Skin Cream, Bio-Gel Bio-Restorative Hydrogel, Lumiere Bio-Restorative Eye Cream and Bio-Restorative Serum with PSP Intensive Spot Treatment. In terms of price, they’re not exactly comparable to Maybelline: A 1-ounce bottle of Journee Bio-Restorative Day Cream costs $120.

Various pro-life groups have rallied against this company and shown their disgust for cosmetic use of flesh from something that had the potential to grow into a productive human being. Fortunately Neocutis reassures the public that their use of “fetal protein” is along moral and ethical guidelines. Thank goodness, I’m so glad that they’ve worked out an ethical way to use dead babies efficiently. It really makes you feel all warm inside.

Meanwhile, no comment from PETA……. It may have been a better PETA magnet if they were using dead baby horses to make shampoo, or mouse penises for lip injections.

Here’s a disclaimer on the Neocutis website regarding their use of aborted baby tissue. Continue Reading…

Dec

Comments

“Tier One” Operator Training Fail

Military Awesome,Tactical Toolbags

Dummy Guns? Who needs em!

I hope this training group has good liability insurance. It looks like another warrior ninja decided to make a tactical fighting course. You have a bunch of “experts” coming up with untested theories and Hollywood moves then peddling them as combat ready techniques. In reality, they’re performance art and should only be taught in Stuntman 101. It’s movie choreography, not war-zone ready tactics. Unfortunately for this instructor, life is not a John Woo movie. In real world situations, when you are in a life or death fight with your enemy, they not stop resisting and wait for you to finish firing.

The founder, Chris Collins, is apparently a US Marine Force Recon vet. Judging by his ridiculous ‘look cool’ fighting concepts,I’m guessing he’s a pre-9/11, peacetime deployment Marine. Could be wrong though.

I thought the point of training how to fight with firearms Continue Reading…

Dec

Comments

Occupy Not Being An A-Hole For Christmas

Hippies, Crazies and Douchbags,Military Awesome

Action Figure Therapy

Action Figure Therapy is awesome! I can’t salute these pissed off video makin’ military fans enough. As Christmas approaches, the occupy movement becomes a perfect target for their GIJOE action figure rant videos. The video is below.

Best line: Listen Sister, go ahead and talk s**t about the military all you want. But don’t come crying to us next time some group of a-holes goes terrorizing the inhabitants of some 3rd world s**thole and then you’re begging our government on some crappy blog to go intervene on behalf of the global community to provide humanitarian aid. Send over some of your patchouli soaked friends from your drum circle,or a couple of the white dudes with dreadlocks you jerked off at the Dave Matthews concert.

Check out the post for more on Continue Reading…

Dec

Comments

Ya’ll Need Need Some Bodyguardin?

Tactical Toolbags,Tshirts and Stuff

A bullet load of tactical forums have been posting on this bodyguard service from Montgomery, Alabama. I still have a hard time believing they real. It appears that a group of meth-heads who played too much Call of Duty decided to make a bodyguard company.

: Internet memes unite!
For all your security needs, do not hesitate to contact Tactical Bodyguard & Security SVC of Montgomery, AL. We are a locally owned and operated company offering professional security and bodyguard service. We are focused and dedicated to providing high quality service and achieving 100% customer satisfaction. We believe that your needs are of the utmost importance and our entire team is committed to meeting those needs. In other words, we will do everything we can to meet your expectations. We specialize in security for clubs, bars, convenient stores, and private parties. We are also available if you need extra protection for shows, trips, dinners, or transportation. No job is too big or too small for us to handle. We are NOT a law enforcement. We are an independent company that offers protection for our clients and their goods. Whatever the situation, we are there to help. We would welcome the opportunity to earn your trust and deliver you the best service in the industry. Call us today!

: He didn't take the blue pill or the red pill.....just the meth pill
For all your security needs, do not hesitate to contact Tactical Bodyguard & Security SVC of Montgomery, AL. We are a locally owned and operated company offering professional security and bodyguard service. We are focused and dedicated to providing high quality service and achieving 100% customer satisfaction. We believe that your needs are of the utmost importance and our entire team is committed to meeting those needs. In other words, we will do everything we can to meet your expectations. We specialize in security for clubs, bars, convenient stores, and private parties. We are also available if you need extra protection for shows, trips, dinners, or transportation. No job is too big or too small for us to handle. We are NOT a law enforcement. We are an independent company that offers protection for our clients and their goods. Whatever the situation, we are there to help. We would welcome the opportunity to earn your trust and deliver you the best service in the industry. Call us today!

: Why put the fat one up front?

: Not allowed to breed.....
For all your security needs, do not hesitate to contact Tactical Bodyguard & Security SVC of Montgomery, AL. We are a locally owned and operated company offering professional security and bodyguard service. We are focused and dedicated to providing high quality service and achieving 100% customer satisfaction. We believe that your needs are of the utmost importance and our entire team is committed to meeting those needs. In other words, we will do everything we can to meet your expectations. We specialize in security for clubs, bars, convenient stores, and private parties. We are also available if you need extra protection for shows, trips, dinners, or transportation. No job is too big or too small for us to handle. We are NOT a law enforcement. We are an independent company that offers protection for our clients and their goods. Whatever the situation, we are there to help. We would welcome the opportunity to earn your trust and deliver you the best service in the industry. Call us today!

: Sheeeeeeat, Thems my abs.
For all your security needs, do not hesitate to contact Tactical Bodyguard & Security SVC of Montgomery, AL. We are a locally owned and operated company offering professional security and bodyguard service. We are focused and dedicated to providing high quality service and achieving 100% customer satisfaction. We believe that your needs are of the utmost importance and our entire team is committed to meeting those needs. In other words, we will do everything we can to meet your expectations. We specialize in security for clubs, bars, convenient stores, and private parties. We are also available if you need extra protection for shows, trips, dinners, or transportation. No job is too big or too small for us to handle. We are NOT a law enforcement. We are an independent company that offers protection for our clients and their goods. Whatever the situation, we are there to help. We would welcome the opportunity to earn your trust and deliver you the best service in the industry. Call us today!

: When methheads buy weapons, gay carbines like this usually result.
For all your security needs, do not hesitate to contact Tactical Bodyguard & Security SVC of Montgomery, AL. We are a locally owned and operated company offering professional security and bodyguard service. We are focused and dedicated to providing high quality service and achieving 100% customer satisfaction. We believe that your needs are of the utmost importance and our entire team is committed to meeting those needs. In other words, we will do everything we can to meet your expectations. We specialize in security for clubs, bars, convenient stores, and private parties. We are also available if you need extra protection for shows, trips, dinners, or transportation. No job is too big or too small for us to handle. We are NOT a law enforcement. We are an independent company that offers protection for our clients and their goods. Whatever the situation, we are there to help. We would welcome the opportunity to earn your trust and deliver you the best service in the industry. Call us today!

: Rape......It's what I do.
For all your security needs, do not hesitate to contact Tactical Bodyguard & Security SVC of Montgomery, AL. We are a locally owned and operated company offering professional security and bodyguard service. We are focused and dedicated to providing high quality service and achieving 100% customer satisfaction. We believe that your needs are of the utmost importance and our entire team is committed to meeting those needs. In other words, we will do everything we can to meet your expectations. We specialize in security for clubs, bars, convenient stores, and private parties. We are also available if you need extra protection for shows, trips, dinners, or transportation. No job is too big or too small for us to handle. We are NOT a law enforcement. We are an independent company that offers protection for our clients and their goods. Whatever the situation, we are there to help. We would welcome the opportunity to earn your trust and deliver you the best service in the industry. Call us today!

: Arms stuck all retardish $200 Pistol Photo
For all your security needs, do not hesitate to contact Tactical Bodyguard & Security SVC of Montgomery, AL. We are a locally owned and operated company offering professional security and bodyguard service. We are focused and dedicated to providing high quality service and achieving 100% customer satisfaction. We believe that your needs are of the utmost importance and our entire team is committed to meeting those needs. In other words, we will do everything we can to meet your expectations. We specialize in security for clubs, bars, convenient stores, and private parties. We are also available if you need extra protection for shows, trips, dinners, or transportation. No job is too big or too small for us to handle. We are NOT a law enforcement. We are an independent company that offers protection for our clients and their goods. Whatever the situation, we are there to help. We would welcome the opportunity to earn your trust and deliver you the best service in the industry. Call us today!

: Caution, Ninjas are Everywhere!
For all your security needs, do not hesitate to contact Tactical Bodyguard & Security SVC of Montgomery, AL. We are a locally owned and operated company offering professional security and bodyguard service. We are focused and dedicated to providing high quality service and achieving 100% customer satisfaction. We believe that your needs are of the utmost importance and our entire team is committed to meeting those needs. In other words, we will do everything we can to meet your expectations. We specialize in security for clubs, bars, convenient stores, and private parties. We are also available if you need extra protection for shows, trips, dinners, or transportation. No job is too big or too small for us to handle. We are NOT a law enforcement. We are an independent company that offers protection for our clients and their goods. Whatever the situation, we are there to help. We would welcome the opportunity to earn your trust and deliver you the best service in the industry. Call us today!

: Keep her off the catering gigs
For all your security needs, do not hesitate to contact Tactical Bodyguard & Security SVC of Montgomery, AL. We are a locally owned and operated company offering professional security and bodyguard service. We are focused and dedicated to providing high quality service and achieving 100% customer satisfaction. We believe that your needs are of the utmost importance and our entire team is committed to meeting those needs. In other words, we will do everything we can to meet your expectations. We specialize in security for clubs, bars, convenient stores, and private parties. We are also available if you need extra protection for shows, trips, dinners, or transportation. No job is too big or too small for us to handle. We are NOT a law enforcement. We are an independent company that offers protection for our clients and their goods. Whatever the situation, we are there to help. We would welcome the opportunity to earn your trust and deliver you the best service in the industry. Call us today!

: Meal Team Six
For all your security needs, do not hesitate to contact Tactical Bodyguard & Security SVC of Montgomery, AL. We are a locally owned and operated company offering professional security and bodyguard service. We are focused and dedicated to providing high quality service and achieving 100% customer satisfaction. We believe that your needs are of the utmost importance and our entire team is committed to meeting those needs. In other words, we will do everything we can to meet your expectations. We specialize in security for clubs, bars, convenient stores, and private parties. We are also available if you need extra protection for shows, trips, dinners, or transportation. No job is too big or too small for us to handle. We are NOT a law enforcement. We are an independent company that offers protection for our clients and their goods. Whatever the situation, we are there to help. We would welcome the opportunity to earn your trust and deliver you the best service in the industry. Call us today!

: Light sabers even make these guys cool
For all your security needs, do not hesitate to contact Tactical Bodyguard & Security SVC of Montgomery, AL. We are a locally owned and operated company offering professional security and bodyguard service. We are focused and dedicated to providing high quality service and achieving 100% customer satisfaction. We believe that your needs are of the utmost importance and our entire team is committed to meeting those needs. In other words, we will do everything we can to meet your expectations. We specialize in security for clubs, bars, convenient stores, and private parties. We are also available if you need extra protection for shows, trips, dinners, or transportation. No job is too big or too small for us to handle. We are NOT a law enforcement. We are an independent company that offers protection for our clients and their goods. Whatever the situation, we are there to help. We would welcome the opportunity to earn your trust and deliver you the best service in the industry. Call us today!

If you have any doubts on the authenticity of the pics Continue Reading…

Dec

Comments

Robot Unicorn Attack Facebook Gallery

Odd Internet Finds

Our Facebook page is finally up and going. Robot Unicorn Attack is the first large album, comprising nearly a hundred random funny pics, internet meme’s, and disturbing photos. Be sure and like the Doodiepants.com’s FB Page while you’re there.

You haven’t had enough……. Continue Reading…

Dec

Comments

Pedo Bear Runs Rampant in A-Stan

Disturbing,Islam,Religion Vs. Reason

You may have remembered our past post (Are Heterosexual Taliban a Dying Breed) concerning the extremely odd male femininity and hypocritical homosexual/pedo habits in Central Asian Islamic culture. Any soldier that was deployed to Afghanistan will verify and likely have shocking, odd ,supporting stories about beardless boy love and rampant sexual confusion. Meanwhile the US is downtrodden for it’s sinful and evil ways. Hell…….go to a wedding in Kabul and it’s like there will be a young dancing boy paid for and admired by all the old men at the wedding. It’s tradition right? The Pedo bear would find a nice home there with the bacha bazi. Pedo bear likey.

Sure Sure……that’s fair. Meanwhile, the Pedo bear runs rampant in the strictest of Islamic theocracies.

Below is an interesting paper written up on the the specifics of Homosexuality, Male femininity and pederasty throughout the history of Islam. It’s pretty damn interesting and a highly suggested download. It’ll work on your ebook reader too! Continue Reading…

Dec

Comments

Every Time a Kitten Masturbates, God Buys This Shirt

Tshirts and Stuff

This is the shirt to get your internet Meme junkie friends. This shirt is based on one of the most famous internet Meme’s in history. “Every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten” (think of the kittens…..)

Click here or on the pic to buy this shirt. Christmas is in 2 weeks. Great gift for grandma! Type in” Zazzle coupon code” into google and you ought to be able to get 30-50% off the shirts with the codes that pop up.

Everytime you masterbate god kills a kitten shirt

We used the fat, creepy, fake mustache guy for this one. Perfect fit! CLICK TO BUY NOW!

See the original meme that scared self-pleasuring feline lovers everywhere after the jump. Continue Reading…

Dec

Comments

Katherine Heigl Hates Balls

Celebrities,Odd Internet Finds

Boner Softener

Katherine Heigl is taking an unconventional, humorous approach to help spread the message about spaying and neutering.

The animal-loving actress stars in a new PSA (which is not suitable for children), produced by Funny or Die, for the recently launched site IHateBalls.com, in which she jokes that the real reason she’s such an advocate for spaying and neutering animals is because she simply hates “terrible, terrible testicles.”

The PSA delivers a humorous take on a very serious issue and features some of Heigl’s furry friend and a brief cameo by her husband, musician Josh Kelley.

“Launching this campaign is hopefully the type of out-of-the-box thinking we need to heighten awareness of the devastating problem, and sound the alarm that we can save many lives by simply spaying/neutering pets. Hate balls, fix pets, save lives. It’s just that simple,” Heigl said in a statement. All net proceeds from the sale of “I Hate Balls” merchandise will go to the Jason Debus Heigl Foundation

-Tails Inc

Katherine Heigl Hates Balls from Katherine Heigl

This is quite a step for Katherine. I never knew she was this cocky. This ad drives me nuts. She totally sacked her fans with this ridiculously ballsy PSA. Here’s a gallery of her pictures below if you’re a fan. Continue Reading…

Dec

Comments

When Call of Duty Isn’t Enough – Airsoft Heroes

Military Awesome,Tactical Toolbags

Welcome to the world of airsoft. Please keep in mind that these pictures are not of active duty units, real world security contractors, or government personnel. These are folks that spend more money on gear than the actual BTDT’s (Been There Done That) they’re mimicking. You can tell by their hard looks and ‘rough and ready’ candor, some of these plastic BB shooting Special Forces posers think they’re certifiable badasses. Check out the amazing collection of Airsoft team shots I found on various team sites. They’re kind of like Mall Ninjas,(see the infamous internet gun forum legend Gecko45) except Mall Ninjas are way more respectable. At least they carry an actual weapons and are proud of their work. Also, below the gallery, you’ll find a funny list of “You know you’re addicted to airsoft when”. Check it for a laugh. Airsoft Toolsheds unite……

When being a tactical airsoft douchebag isn’t enough, Photoshop yourself in war-zone backdrops with a trident in the corner.

TO see the entire gallery of Airsoft military posers, see below Continue Reading…

Dec

Comments

Iraq Doesn’t Get a Bailout – Trump Says Pay Up

Celebrities,Military Awesome

Like a Boss!

[ad#Google Adsense Post bottom banner]

“Call me old school, but I believe in the old warrior’s credo that ‘to the victor go the spoils.’ In other words, we don’t fight a war, hand over the keys to people who hate us, and leave. We win a war, take the oil to repay the financial costs we’ve incurred, and in so doing treat Iraq and everyone else fairly.”

“It’s hardly a radical idea,” continues Trump. “In September 2010, our own Government Accountability Office and others studied the issue in depth and concluded that a cost-sharing plan is feasible and wise.”

“From the very beginning of Operation Iraqi Freedom, I believed we should have hammered out the repayment plan with the Iraqis – through exiled Iraqi dissidents,” says Trump. “Oil revenues could have been used to reduce the sticker price for occupation. And there’s still no reason we can’t or shouldn’t implement a cost-sharing arrangement with Iraq.”

http://www.humanevents.com/article.php?id=47927

My Thoughts:

If you can’t win at the expense of others, than what’s the point of playing. The US got a twofer Continue Reading…