Action figure therapy Sgt. slaughter gijoe pic

Action Figure Therapy

Action Figure Therapy is awesome!  I can’t salute these pissed off video makin’ military fans enough.   As Christmas approaches, the occupy movement becomes a perfect target for their GIJOE action figure  rant videos.  The video is below.

Best line:  Listen Sister, go ahead and talk s**t about the military all you want.  But don’t come crying to us next time some group of a-holes goes terrorizing the inhabitants of some 3rd world s**thole and then you’re begging our government on some crappy blog to go intervene on behalf of the global community to provide humanitarian aid.  Send over some of your patchouli soaked friends from your drum circle,or a couple of the white dudes with dreadlocks you jerked off at the Dave Matthews concert.


Check out the post for more on Action Figure Therapy!

Excerpt from Military.com Article About Action Figure Therapy:

I was chatting back and forth with a buddy in TF Creek a couple of weeks back and I made a crack of the combat value of a mustache as force multiplier. He didn’t get it. This is an Action Figure Therapy reference, which any AFT follower capable of speech can tell you. Now, my friend is an FO, but even that’s no excuse for not having heard of AFT. Not knowing the value of a mustache in combat as a force multiplier these days is like a Marine of the late 80s not being able to finish Sgt. Apone’s tirade. I’d expect better of a fat-body mall ninja who has more money invested in multi-cam and ATACs gear than hygiene products.

If you haven’t watched an AFT video, they’re simple. 80s era action figures (like Jungle Recon and Angry Ranger) answer questions and vent their issues in therapy sessions filmed for our edification and education.

“How does a mustache help you in combat? Well what the hell kinda short bus special needs nose picking booger eatin’ kinda question is that? It’s pretty goddam obvious, numbnuts. Mustaches are synonymous with everything bad ass.”

So apparently, despite six million views of their videos there are still a few people who haven’t watched the Action Figure Therapy videos. Warning: they are NEFRSFW (that’s Not Even F-ing Remotely Safe For Work), but tens of thousands of fans (at least 70% of them current or former military) think they’re funny as hell.

AFT started in September of 2010 in LA by a standup comedian and comedy writer named Dan Bialek. There have been dozens since then, including such revealing and insightful episodes as Drag Queen Bingo and Shark Week Undersea Mermaid Sexscapade.

The nature of AFT’s dialogue and the way they speak leave many of their fans with the impression that the writers are themselves military personnel. While this is a testimony to their ability to use a military “voice” and a properly profane argot, it’s actually not the case. All the guys that write for them are comedians (one of them was born on Benning to a military family). The characters are just based on military personnel like Bialek’s father. AFT staffers are very careful, perhaps even overly careful, to make it clear who they are.

“We get tons of e-mails and commentary from fans, so many of them convinced we’ve been in the military,” Bialek says. “We don’t ever want to come across as some stolen valor bullshit, last thing on earth we want to do is claim to be something we’re not.”