DoodiePants

Remove any sharp objects in your area and or drinks from near your computer,  sit up straight.

Click on the picture of the seemingly innocent girl.  READ Facebook Comments below the pic. Continue Reading…

The Dalai Lama, a reincarnated leader of Tibetan Buddhism did not seem to grasp western concepts of Pizza ordering.

Then Karl Stevanovic says, ‘Can you make me One with everything?’”  The Dalai Lama didn’t quite pick up on the play on words.  This is fortunate,  or he would have realized that his spiritual views and decades of meditative thought  had been reduced to a cheap joke. “Oh, I knew that wouldn’t work,” says face palming Stevanovic.   Nice one jackass.  You’d think that if you had the chance to speak with the14th reincarnation of the Dalai Lama, you’d have a better question.  “Why are we here”, “What are you’re views on Western religious tradition?” “Why don’t they sell those red white and blue Patriot Popsicles anymore?”, “Should Anthony Wiener Resign?”   Just a few.

See the Video after the Jump. Continue Reading…

Bill Maher and Jane Lynch deliver a dramatic reading of Representative Anthony Weiner‘s sextings with that hot Blackjack dealer from Las Vegas – Lisa.  How could anyone in the public take him seriously after this?  It was some of the most ridiculous and creepy chat I’ve ever heard.  I’m sure the female Jewish population might also have an opinion.  I’m not quite clear on whether they were complemented or degraded for their……’abilities’.

"It won't go away and now I'm taking pics of it"

Be Aware, these sextings could not be published via major media outlets due to their vulgarity.  “Here at Real Time, we do take our responsibility very seriously as the one show, because we’re on pay cable, where we can say anything and quote anything,” Bill Maher said before introducing the actress Jane Lynch who will host upcoming Daytime Emmy Awards. ” The texts from Anthony Weiner were printed this week. Most people could not show them to you; we are going to read them verbatim.”

HBO, being the uncensored beast it is, offers us this totally disturbing video. Continue Reading…

Enter Christopher’s world, where everything from the “Lord of the Rings” is true and “Dungeons and Dragons” knowledge is akin to science.  His videos teach willful followers how to locate Nature Spirits, find their homes, feed their unicorns,  entice them with beverages, and trap them in little cages.  Even if Nature Spirits and Nature People did exist, I would think there would be an uprising in the tree village once they found out they were all being represented by this total tool-shed.

Wait, did he say he took a group of Elves out to a Chinese restaurant?  What?

Fairies, gnomes, and Elves actually don’t exist, but I know internet trolls exist and this Christopher Valentine dude is one of them.   He’s another scammer making money off of metaphysical BS that holds no evidential support.  The world needs freaky blonde guys teaching people how to capture fairies as much as it needs more more psychics, John Edwardses, Peter Popoffs, Benny Hinns, Robert Tiltons, witches, energy healers and homeopathic technicians.  Granted, he may be an unknowing scammer and believe his every word is true, but for the love of rational thought…….please make it stop.

In addition, there’s that fact that these hidden nature creatures are getting their favorite hiding spots sold out to the public for profit.  Greedy Chris Valentine doesn’t care!  I hope a team of ranger gnomes sneak in and poop in his bed while doing his next recording.   Now that would be awesome!

Oh there’s more after the Jump……much more……….. Continue Reading…

Even the bears know, Quantitative Easing is just printing money

Wondering what the hell the Federal Reserve is up to?  Have no idea how the US financial system works?  Why does Ben Bernanke think printing money is the solution?  Where is Goldman Sachs involved in all this?

This video will answer these question and help explain why the US is in the position we are today.  Things are really starting to seem effed up…………to say the least.  If you pay attention to this video, you’ll learn more in 5 minutes then you did in your entire high school economic class.

What Does Quantitative Easing Mean?
A government monetary policy occasionally used to increase the money supply by buying government securities or other securities from the market. Quantitative easing increases the money supply by flooding financial institutions with capital in an effort to promote increased lending and liquidity.

Let’s Explore the wonderful world of quantitative easing with cartoon bears. Continue Reading…

You all remember Eli Porter? The freestyle rap battle champ from Chamblee High School that everyone kinda felt bad for laughing at because we all thought he was retarded?  Well, in case you wondered what happened to him, check out this documentary: People’s Champion. It’ll be released in early July 2011 and has received a whole lotta good press.

Also, turns out, Eli Porter is not mentally retarded; maybe just a little slow.  So don’t feel bad…….

The original “Iron Mic” rap battle from 2003 that started all the internet memes can be seen after the jump.

Original Iron Mic video with the infamous Eli Porter below Continue Reading…

So, if you type in “can Jesus” into the Google search box,  a bunch of Google search recommendations and related phrases pop up below.  One of them is “can Jesus Microwave a burrito”. Much like celeb cellulite and dramatic chipmunks,  this is one of those things that’s nearly impossible NOT to click on.   I clicked on it and quickly learned about Jesus and his philosophical burrito. 

Turns out this internet MEME is quite popular.  The question “can Jesus microwave a burrito so hot even him could not eat it” has been answered numerous time on Yahoo Answers.    The Yahoo Answer after the jump  is by far the most in depth answer  and revolves around the age old paradox: “can God create a rock so heavy he cannot lift”.   Thanks Google Search Recommendations for wasting yet another 30 minutes of my life.

See the full philosophical answer below.

Continue Reading…

Beat this for an odd piece of history you never knew.  The most well-known witch trial in Iceland involved Jon Jonsson, who admittedly used a book of magic and Runes of Farting against a local girl.  As a result, these magic runes caused extreme humiliation, abdominal discomfort, and constant farting.  Regardless how awesome Jon Jonsson was, he was burned at the stake for his magic rune shenanigans.  Doodiepants…….

Now this is a serious curse:

Dastardly Runes!

which are to afflict your belly with great shitting and shooting pains, and all these may afflict your belly with very great farting. May your bones split asunder, may your guts burst, may your farting never stop, neither day nor night. May you become as weak as the fiend, Loki, who was snared by all the gods.

The Kirkjuból witch trial was perhaps the best-known witch trial Continue Reading…

A Chicago lawyer says his opponent in a small claims case is using an unfair tactic by sitting a buxom woman next to him at counsel’s table.

Chicago Attorney, Thomas Gooch made the quote of the year when he made an objection to Paralegal Daniella Atencia‘s presence in the courtroom.  “Personally, I like large breasts,” he said. “However, I object to somebody I don’t think is a qualified paralegal sitting at the counsel table — when there’s already two lawyers there — dressed in such a fashion as to call attention to herself.”

Can't Concentrate......the boobs.....the boobs!!

Attorney Thomas Gooch said that the woman’s sole purpose was “to draw the attention of the jury away from the relevant proceedings” — a dispute over a used car. He asked Cook County Circuit Judge Anita Rivkin-Carothers to order the woman to sit in the gallery with other spectators.  In responding to the pretrial motion, attorney Dmitry N. Feofanov said the woman is his paralegal assistant and contends Gooch cites no “good faith legal argument” why she can’t sit at counsel’s table. Feofanov, who in the past has described himself as a “consumer protection lawyer,” asked Rivkin-Carothers to impose sanctions on Gooch for his motion against busty chicks in the courtroom.

-Quote Source: Chicago Tribune

The original photo of the tempting Ms Daniella Atencia has been recovered and can be seen after the jump. Continue Reading…

This Hottest Couples of 2011 post is only here to make you smile.  Plus it’s a nice chunk of shallowness to counteract yesterday’st mildly serious post about the end of the world and the related offensive tshirt.

By now you’ve realized that these are infact……not the Hottest couples of 2011. I suggest not theorizing what the children of these couples may look like.  I also highly suggest not imagining any of these couples in the process of making children. Hazardous……

Continue Reading…

Currently Nigerian scam artists may be the most poorly trained English users on the planet.  What’s Nigeria’s national language?    English.  Unfortunately, Nigeria now has its own version of “Sesame Street”, named “Sesame Square”. This can only mean one thing.

In the next few years, Nigerian scam emails will be written with decent English making them nearly impossible to decipher.  Yes, That email from Mr. Barrister Yneki whose father recently died with a 4 Million dollars worth of Gold bullion trapped in a UK Bank account may soon be error free. And that fake PayPal funds deposit email might actually have the word “Transaction” spelled correctly.   Future scam victims will have to start using their brains and ask themselves, “why would someone with a ridiculously odd name that doesn’t match their email claiming to be from an eastern African country randomly email me and offer me large amounts of money”?   What…..a scam?  No way, it’s gotta be legit. (smirk wink)

But I got mine from a toilet seat.

Anyway, it’s still funny.  The new “Sesame Square” show has a bunch of the characters from the US show, a Bid Bird with a Nigerian Accent, a furry monster obsessed with eating Yams and a character with AIDS who’s mother died.   It would be perfect if there were an Oscar the Grouch character that sits around all day figuring out new ways to rehash Continue Reading…

For a lighter side of the Bin Laden issue……Were you wondering about who actually shot that Osama Bin Laden in Abbottabad Pakistan?

Here’s a video of the SEAL who shot Bin Laden partying it up the next day in a downtown Virginia Beach bar……. Continue Reading…