Aug
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Westboro Baptist Church DickPunched By Congress

Westboro baptist church

God Hates Congress……and fags

I’ve been a fan of bashing Westboro Baptist church for the last couple years.  Now it seems that they may have finally been restricted from their bullshit veteran funeral protests.  Congress just passed the “Honoring America’s Veterans and Caring for Camp Lejeune Families Act of 2012″.     Below are some details on the effects of the legislation.

Westboro Baptist Church protesters will soon be severely limited in their ability to disrupt military funerals, after Congress passed a sweeping veterans bill this week that includes restrictions on such demonstrations.  According to “The Honoring America’s Veterans and Caring for Camp Lejeune Families Act of 2012,” which is now headed to President Barack Obama’s desk, demonstrators will no longer be allowed to picket military funerals two hours before or after a service. The bill also requires protestors to be at least 300 feet away from grieving family members. This aspect of the legislation was introduced by Sen. Olympia Snowe (R-Maine), who, at the urging of a teenage constituent, proposed new limitations on military funeral demonstrations as a response to a 2011 Supreme Court case that ruled such actions were protected under the First Amendment.  -Huffington Post

The “Honoring America’s Veterans and Caring for Camp Lejeune Families Act of 2012″ was signed in on August 6th  The law intends to curb protests at military funerals by increasing the buffer around the funerals from 300 feet to 500 feet, and increasing the buffer around access routes to a funeral service from 150 feet to 300 feet. The “quiet time” when no protests are permitted is increased to two hours before and after the service, up from one hour. The law also creates harsher penalties for violators, who will now face unspecified fines and up to two years in prison, instead of a maximum of one year.    Next I say they pull their 503c tax free status.  Hell, what’s it take to get one of those 503c’s statuses anyway?  Make a group and proclaim that you believe in a man in the sky?    Well, Westboro’s ‘man in the sky’ hates all of us Continue Reading…

Aug
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Christian Churches Should Not Build In Islamic Countries

Al-Ajmi, Kuwait Council member

Hey Al-Ajmi…..Your outfit looks like sheet.

The arguments for and against the Ground Zero mosque are still fresh in mind—–meanwhile a group of Kuwaiti Mullahs(Islamic preachers), are claiming that ” Christian churches should not be built in Islamic countries”.  This was in response to one of the new Christian churches in Kuwait City that was to begin construction.   The irony of this situation struck me.  Our country built on freedom of religion appears to have moral high ground here.  The US is obliged to authorize Islamic organizations to build mosques within US borders, but American Christians can and often are denied the right to build churches in the same countries who’s religious base funds and builds inside the US.  In addition, Saudi Arabia (the heart of Islam and the home of Mecca) will not permit us to build churches on their sacred soil.    KUWAIT CITY, July 26: A group of Islamic preachers claimed that Christian churches should not be built in Islamic countries particularly in the Arabian Peninsula following the issuance of an approval for constructing a church  Continue Reading…

Aug
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God Hates Figs T-Shirt

Thank you Westboro Baptist Church for the inspiration to make this God hates figs shirt.  For those not familiar with Westboro Baptist Church.  They are the ones made famous for protesting at soldier’s funerals and carrying signs stating “God hates fags”, “fag enablers” and “thank God for 9/11″ etc… The Patriot Guard Riders usually shew them off or make a human barrier, but unfortunately they can’t be at every soldiers funeral.  Be sure and check out when we caught one Westboro Baptist Church protester wearing a Glee t-shirt to a protest.  I like this shirt because you can promote your hatred of figs and you can mock those douchbags at Westboro too.   Besides being a creative play on words, God really does seem to hate figs. Check out of the Bible verses below and get your learn on.

 

Biblical proof that God hates figs.

Jeremiah 29:17 Thus saith the LORD of hosts; Behold, I will send upon them the sword, the famine, and the pestilence, and will make them like vile figs, that cannot be eaten, they are so evil. Continue Reading…
Aug
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Gay Demon Exorcisms and Possessed Animals

Below are a couple intriguing videos of real exorcisms that involve the removal of “gay demons”.    It’s pretty trippy.


I think A real gay demon would never allow his victim to leave the house wearing this outfit. Continue Reading…

Aug
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Mitt Romney’s Magic Mormon Underwear

So Mitt Romney wears special church authorized Mormon underwear…..we can make fun of him right?

Mitt Romney wearing Mormon Underwear

Mitt’s Special Mormon Underwear….look closely

Mormon Underwear

Mormons complain a lot about being “ridiculed”, but they’re not the first.  Lot’s of people that believe ridiculous things without evidence get made fun of.  Heck…we posted earlier on a wingnut that believed that Fairies, Elves and Gnomes were real and all hung out in his back yard.   Doodiepants also mocked Sunni fundamentalist Islam for publicly stating that God doesn’t listen to farters, Demons cause respiratory issues, and sex with your slaves is totally acceptable.  Is it mean to expect otherwise intelligent people to let go of ignorance, bigotry, and superstition?  I think not…..  The same goes in the case for believing that an invisible universe creating super being is concerned with your underwear selections(Mitt Romney)——-Or that an angel revealed a message(Qu’ran) to an illiterate trader in a cave over a period of 20 years, or that people with black skin have been cursed by God, or that a loving and wise universe creator condoned slavery and ordered genocide a couple thousand years ago, or even that you get magical powers by believing spiritual propositions with out evidence.

Thomas Jefferson shared some words on that subject in relation to some seemingly unreasonable religious principles:  Ridicule is the only weapon which can be used against unintelligible propositions.  Ideas must be distinct before reason can act upon them; and no man ever had a distinct idea of the trinity. It is the mere Abracadabra of the mountebanks calling themselves the priests of Jesus.  — Thomas Jefferson, letter to Francis Adrian Van there Kemp July 30, 1816. So….I’m with Thomas Jefferson and Matt and Trey Parker, creators of “The Book Of Mormon” Broadway musical.  Let’s ridicule!

Video below….. Continue Reading…

Jul
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Westboro Baptist Church Protester Caught Wearing Glee Shirt

A Westboro Baptist Church member was caught protesting the ordination of a gay pastor in Madison Wisconsin while wearing a tshirt advertising one of the gayest shows on earth…….GLEE.    The church was made famous a few years back for protesting at soldiers funerals and carrying sign with messages stating, “God hates fags”, “Thank God for dead soldiers”, “Fag enabler”  and other creative slogans.  According to the person who took this picture and posted it on Flickr, “She told us she didn’t know anything about the shirt, but that her sister gave it to her when they headed out this morning.”  Wow…your sister really effed you on that one!  Nothing against Glee, I’m just a bigger fan of entertainment that promotes human breeding  and the continuation of the species.  If you dig Glee…roll with it.   I would offer any over 20 male I caught watching it alone a strict regime of pushups, UFC Dvd’s, hetero porn, and daily bacon supplements to counter act any possible craving to sing or participate in musicals. Forgive me for being such a Glee-a-phobe.  I worry that Glee may convert a too many males over to non breeding lifestyles and the already strained US economy will collapse  and begin a steady cycle of deflation and showtunes.

Westboro Baptist Church

Protester Fail

Huge Thank you to the Patriot Guard Riders, who make it their mission to protect the funerals of fallen US soldiers from these Westboro Baptist Church douchbags. Continue Reading…

Jul
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Plastic St. Joseph – Please Sell My Home

I found this “St. Joseph Sell Your Home” kit at a garage sale and couldn’t resist picking it up for 50 cents.  At the time I thought it was some sort of Catholic gag gift.  Then, shortly a few months later I received an email from my Grandma all about St. Joseph and his home selling wonders.  Wild Catholic traditions never cease to amaze me so my interest was perked.  This down housing market has people doing ridiculous things……including burying upside-down St. Joseph statues in their lawn in the hopes that it will increase the chance of a home sale.

St. Joseph – What ? Why? How?

St. Joseph, the husband of Mary and earthly Father of Jesus Christ, is honored as the patron saint of married couples, families, carpenters and workingmen. March 19, his feast day, is especially celebrated by people of Italian and Polish descent. Over the years, the tradition arose of St. Joseph having a special power in real estate transactions. European nuns buried a medal with his likeness on property they hoped to acquire for convents. Gradually the medals were replaced with statues and the focus changed from buying to selling. The statue is buried upside down in the front yard with the feet pointing to heaven. It may face towards the home (or towards the street if you want your neighbor’s home to sell!) The location of the statue can vary: by the “For Sale” sign, in a flower pot (popular for condo owners), etc.. As long as you can find it once the home has sold. After the home has sold, the statue should be removed from the ground and given a place of honor in your new home.  -Cathoilc Supply

Below the picture check out some of the Amazon reviews from people that have used the plasitc St. Joseph to sell their house.

 

St. Joseph Real estate miracle

I heard that if you bury an upside down barbie in a flowerpot you’ll marry a stripper within 2 months.

Continue Reading…

Jul
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How To Beat a Child – Michael Pearl

how to beat a child

Forget “time out” and taking away video games for a week…..1/4 inch PVC is the best!

Hey we all need an ass whopping every now and then, but having it be the main form of punishment could get really old.  Not to mention, if you’re a little dude, I hear getting hit with objects by your parents too often can have some negative psychological effects. Spanking kids as a last resort is one thing, but Michael Pearl sets the main form of discipline being a whack with anything from a piece of wood to a 1/4 inch PVC pipe.  According to him if you want to know how to beat a child, a 1/4 inch PVC pipe is particularly good due to it’s high pain low injury ratio.

One of the most twisted instructions found in Michael Pearl’s book To Train Up A Child is where he suggests tempting a child with a bite of their favorite food ~ placing a piece within the child’s reach ~ and when said child instinctively reaches out for the food ~ Switch their hand once and simultaneously say, ‘No.’  Wow…….it’s like an instruction manual for building social retards.  Go Michael Pearl and your Epic Beard!  The ought to be called “How To Beat A Child”.

 No Greater Joy is the ministry of Michael & Debi Pearl under the auspices of No Greater Joy Ministries Inc. Michael has been a pastor, missionary, and evangelist for over 40 years. The Pearls’ five children were all homeschooled, and have grown up to become missionaries and church leaders. Though holding a degree from the Mid-South Bible College (now Victory University), when Michael is asked for his credentials on child training he points to his five children.  – NoGreaterJoy.com 


Here’s a quote from the maker of the video below:  Michael Pearl is a butthurt man. So in the long tradition of those who don’t like having their own words used against them, No Greater Joy Ministries has filed a false DMCA to try and silence those who speak out against him. I will not let this go unchallenged.   Watch him subjugate his wife and beat mock child below….oh what fun. Continue Reading…

Jun
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Girls Students Told – Bleeders Can’t Participate

Since when is it acceptable to have any activity where girls are forced to the back of the room based of their gender and/or their menstrual cycle? In Valley Park Middle School the religious double standard is upheld and because it’s religiously related, it has been allowed on school grounds.   If any staff of the school were responsible for this set up: Boys in front, girls in back and menstruating girls not allowed to participate for no physical reason, they would be instantly fired, and rightly so.   Check out the video below.

 

This isn’t just an issue of old traditions dying hard, the reason for separation of menstruating women in both Islam and Old Testament Judaism is due to their Continue Reading…

Jun
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God Said It – In Heaven Women Don’t Pee or have Boogers

god artIn an effort to glorify the words of various divine beings that are accepted without question by millions of people worldwide……here’s another quote from the wisest being in the universe.

Bukhari:Verse 4, Book 54, Number 476-544

“‘In Paradise they will not urinate, relieve nature, spit, or have any nasal secretions. Everyone will have two virgins who will be so beautiful and transparent the bones of their legs will be seen through their flesh.’” Continue Reading…