DoodiePants

Because Demons Hate Bronze Age Execution Devices

Brynne, Tess and Savannah Larson discuss how they first became involved in performing exorcisms.  Brynne is the daughter of the famous exorcist Bob Larson and claims that she did her first exorcism in Africa with her father standing by.

I wonder if after the show, they held Anderson Cooper down and tried to caste the “gay demon” out of him.    Unfortunately I think they’d rather do exorcisms on weak-minded teenage girls and poor uneducated Africans.  (And yes….if you were not aware, Anderson Cooper is gay)

Not sure……but I’m guessing the qualification for excising a demon is the same qualification you need to kick a unicorn or punch Continue Reading…

If you come from religious perspective and can get over Colbert’s irreverence of tradition, you’ll realize that he’s doing what needs to be done more often—–punking out buffoons like Pat Robertson.  Pat is part of a long list of people smacking their lips on God’s behalf, claiming the know the future, and repeatedly contradicting themselves.   He claims to quote God directly and relays God’s message that the country will go through a large economic collapse.  Is God Captain obvious now?  The only specific detail that God gave Pat Robertson was the identity of the next US president.  Unfortunately, Pat was not allowed to tell the public.  I find this quite convenient, just in case he misheard God.

Pat Robertson apparently gets a pass on Bullshit claims of future knowledge and connection with God Continue Reading…

A Westboro Baptist Church member was caught protesting the ordination of a gay pastor in Madison Wisconsin while wearing a tshirt advertising one of the gayest shows on earth…….GLEE.    The church was made famous a few years back for protesting at soldiers funerals and carrying sign with messages stating, “God hates fags”, “Thank God for dead soldiers”, “Fag enabler”  and other creative slogans.  According to the person who took this picture and posted it on Flickr, “She told us she didn’t know anything about the shirt, but that her sister gave it to her when they headed out this morning.”  Wow…your sister really effed you on that one!

Protester Fail

Nothing against Glee, I’m just a bigger fan of entertainment that promotes human breeding Continue Reading…

Ugandan Christian pastor (Doodie Sanchez) is leading the fight against the scourge of homosexuality in Uganda.  Listen as he  enlightens us on the details of  ‘the gay’.  Those crazy homosexuals, eating da poo poo.

Uganda is currently pushing for a bill to have homosexuals killed or imprisoned.    I’m wondering if the homosexuals who do not “ eat da poo poo” are also included?

So, where does Doodie Sanchez get his info from?  Does the arm make it all the way up to elbow?   Wow that’s a real trooper.

Be sure and check out the  “Eat da Poo Poo” Meme site.   Knowyourmeme – Eat da Poo poo

Frank Mugisha is kicking ass and leading the fight against idiots like the pastor above. (who are indirectly ushering in death penalties and hate driven violence) Continue Reading…

Zeitgeist Fail

For those that have seen the movie “Zeitgeist”, this debunking video ought to be pretty interesting.  Part One of the Zeitgeist movie was a seemingly enlightening (and shocking) foray into the roots of Christianity.  Well, shocking unless you’re familiar with some of the claims they’re making.  Peter Joseph, the writer and director, seeks to persuade his viewers that the authors of the New Testament borrowed the idea of Jesus’ virgin birth, December 25th birth date, twelve disciples, miracles, crucifixion, and resurrection from astrological sources and ancient pagan mystery religions that were around long before the time of Christ.  The video below is dedicated to debunking the the first part of the conspiracy laden claims of the Zeitgeist movie.  While there are similarities between various pre-Christian myths and the roots of Christianity, the Zeitgeist movie really showed it’s ignorance by making some obvious screw ups in the first few minutes.   One that I caught was the idiotic connection between the Christian “Three Kings” story, astrology and to Horus.  Those familiar with the Bible will know that it says nothing about three kings.  There were however, Magi that visited Jesus after his birth.  Their number was not specified and they were not kings.  It appears that the creators of Zeitgeist had sources in “Part One” that didn’t go much further then poorly researched Hallmark cards and Christmas carols.  Continue Reading…

So, if you type in “can Jesus” into the Google search box,  a bunch of Google search recommendations and related phrases pop up below.  One of them is “can Jesus Microwave a burrito”. Much like celeb cellulite and dramatic chipmunks,  this is one of those things that’s nearly impossible NOT to click on.   I clicked on it and quickly learned about Jesus and his philosophical burrito. 

Turns out this internet MEME is quite popular.  The question “can Jesus microwave a burrito so hot even him could not eat it” has been answered numerous time on Yahoo Answers.    The Yahoo Answer after the jump  is by far the most in depth answer  and revolves around the age old paradox: “can God create a rock so heavy he cannot lift”.   Thanks Google Search Recommendations for wasting yet another 30 minutes of my life.

See the full philosophical answer below.

Continue Reading…

It’s a damn shame I even had to make the “Rapture Vet” shirt.  For most people  around me(Christians and non-theists alike), Harold Camping‘s rapture prophecy was a complete joke, but for large groups of people throughout the US, May 21st’s rapture and commencement of the Apocalypse was as real as rocks.

Stay tuned for more Amazing feats of Prophetic Idiocy.

From 30AD until present, billions of Christians have been swayed by various doomsday prophecies.  Since day one,  Jesus predicted then end of the world within his generation!  Even the apocalyptic beliefs of the very first Christians have been proved to be false.  It is clear from the New Testament that Jesus’ follower all expected the Second Coming within their own lifetime.  And, worse still, they had a reason.  Their Master had told them so.  He shared, and indeed created, their perception of the coming end where he would “arrive in the clouds” in their “generation would not pass until these things happened(Mt 24:34; Mk 13:30; Lk 21:32).  I also put a link to a list of failed human prophecies up until the 1920′s at the bottom of this post.  These prophesies usually revolve around various biblical books of Old Testament Prophecy, the Book of Revelation and a mishmash of current events(often related to Israel).  Check out some famous apocalypse winners like “Late Great Planet Earth” by Hal Lindsey or “88 Reasons Why the World Will End in 1988″.  And be sure not to forget the plethora of failed Jehovah Witness prophecies.  You’d think they’d give up on the second or third try.  Harold Camping’s reasoning for why million of believers would dematerialize and go to a happy place to spend eternity with an all knowing creator can be seen on this little sheet of paper to the right.  Unfortunately critical thinking does not seem to be a strong point for him or his followers. Continue Reading…

May 22nd, the day after the supposed end of the world…………………..

Just sit back and imagine the market that single men will have.  Imagine the lost hope, lost faith and depression that so so many lonely doomsdayers will have when the great earthquake and rapture fails to happen on May 21st.  Sure, this is rebound play, but why ignore this excellent opportunity?      Just sayin’…………..

Even if rapture does happen, there will be millions of couples minus one spouse due to the mate floating off to be with Jesus.  So………on May 21st, get a haircut, throw on your finest threads and get ready to work on the greatest rebound play in history.

Or wear this shirt!

 

Rapture Vet – May 21st 2011 by doodiepants

And…..for the satirical nature of this post, keep in mind Mark 13:32 “”No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.”  http://bible.cc/mark/13-32.htm

If you’re a Bible Fan or a Rapture Vet and curious how these guys at FamilyRadio.com ended up with May 21st as the date, Continue Reading…

On the 700 Club televangelist Pat Robertson Implies that the reason for the disastrous Earthquake in Haiti wasn’t tectonic plate shifts; it was the pact with the devil Haitians made to be freed from their French colonizers in the 18th Century.  Keep in mind that 96% of the population of Haiti are Christian.  (80% Catholic, 16% Protestant).  Also keep in mind that Pat Robertson and the 700 Club are responsible for numerous failed end time prophecies.

Here’s the truth behind the Haitian Revolution and Dutty Boukman (Pronounced Doodie Bookman)  If you look into Haitian history, there’s a story about a Voodoo priest whose death led to the final slave revolt that resulted in Haitian independence. Continue Reading…

This past Saturday, 5 December 2009,  Pepsi sponsored a concert series in Uganda known as the Chamuka Keys Finale, where a Jamaican dancehall artist known as Beenie Man performed. At the concert, reports from the Ugandan news outlet, “The Monitor” document that Beenie Man performed a song where he called for gay men to have their throats slit.  Add this to songs previously released by Beenie Man where he calls for LGBT‘s (gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender) to be executed, and for lesbians to be hung to death.

Mind you that a bill is currently being debated that would institute the death penalty for some members of the Ugandan LGBT population. Those that aren’t sentenced to death would be subject to prison terms and severe fines, solely because of their sexual orientation.

How Ironic is this Commercial……..?

Time for a bit more due diligence in your affiliations  Pepsi.  It’s understood that you probably had no idea that this concert was even going on, but you gotta get a handle on this.

.
Quote From “The Monitor”

“The King of Dancehall stuck a sword of words into gay people through singing and talking. Continue Reading…

The ‘Christian Side Hug’ is the perfect hug for insuring no lustful thoughts enter the minds of any unmarried huggers.   It also serves to avoid any accidental junk or boob rubbing.  Watch the video and be put in awe.  It’ll be stuck in your head all week.

.

.

There needs to be some sort of Christian cheese-ball commission; something setup to stop things like this or anything like it from ever coming out.  I realize that this would mean that nearly all of the Christian rap and rock from the 1990′s and most Christian t-shirts from bookstores be banned…….but something must be done.

Ryan Pann, the main signer and song writer spoke with the Chicago Tribune and admitted that the performance was a spoof.  But……when you  watch the video, there’s no indication of this.  They all seem pretty serious and gangsta gangsta.   Why would you let this video go out with no disclaimer?   I have no idea.  Now this video’s release is likely the largest regret of the Christian church since the the Spanish Inquisition.

The ‘Christian Side Hug’ is a more specific version of the ‘Church Hug’ defined in Urban Dictionary as “A hug in which Continue Reading…

3 Brown Stars for this Toolshed.

“Hallelujia, friends! The spirit moved deep inside of me to create a place where Good Christians could congregate and share in their love of JESUS. Of course, if you really loved JESUS, and wanted to show it, you could send him $1000 in care of this ministry. Then you will know the true blessings of the Lord. “

I remember watching this guy when I was 10.  I’d flip over to him in between “Ducktales” and “Rescue Rangers”. He’d tell everyone to “just put your hand on the television screen and feel power of the Holy Spirit flow into you”     This was usually followed by a message based solely on tithing(donation).  He pushed the idea that if you gave to God via “Robert Tilton Ministries”, God will give you more wealth in return.  It’s like a cosmic foolproof investment scheme.  Except in the early 1990′s, courtesy of an ABC undercover investigation, good ole Bob ended up being the more like the Bernie Madoff of televangelism.   The only difference is……..he RESTARTED his so-called ministry and and it currently continues @ http://www.roberttiltonlive.com/.

And he is the Robert Tilton Wiki that goes into much more detail.

While I don’t want to mock the Christian faith, I do want to mock this guy.  The videos below were made to do that exact thing.    We felt 3 Brown Star was a good middle of the road rating for the legendary flatulent money grubber……..Robert Tilton.

“I’ve sent you this packet of oil to help you release your faith for your emergency miracle,” states the letter. “Use it to anoint whatever represents your Emergency Crisis. If it’s a financial crisis, anoint your wallet or billfold or checkbook.” Continue Reading…