DoodiePants

It’s a damn shame I even had to make the “Rapture Vet” shirt.  For most people  around me(Christians and non-theists alike), Harold Camping‘s rapture prophecy was a complete joke, but for large groups of people throughout the US, May 21st’s rapture and commencement of the Apocalypse was as real as rocks.

Stay tuned for more Amazing feats of Prophetic Idiocy.

From 30AD until present, billions of Christians have been swayed by various doomsday prophecies.  Since day one,  Jesus predicted then end of the world within his generation!  Even the apocalyptic beliefs of the very first Christians have been proved to be false.  It is clear from the New Testament that Jesus’ follower all expected the Second Coming within their own lifetime.  And, worse still, they had a reason.  Their Master had told them so.  He shared, and indeed created, their perception of the coming end where he would “arrive in the clouds” in their “generation would not pass until these things happened(Mt 24:34; Mk 13:30; Lk 21:32).  I also put a link to a list of failed human prophecies up until the 1920′s at the bottom of this post.  These prophesies usually revolve around various biblical books of Old Testament Prophecy, the Book of Revelation and a mishmash of current events(often related to Israel).  Check out some famous apocalypse winners like “Late Great Planet Earth” by Hal Lindsey or “88 Reasons Why the World Will End in 1988″.  And be sure not to forget the plethora of failed Jehovah Witness prophecies.  You’d think they’d give up on the second or third try.  Harold Camping’s reasoning for why million of believers would dematerialize and go to a happy place to spend eternity with an all knowing creator can be seen on this little sheet of paper to the right.  Unfortunately critical thinking does not seem to be a strong point for him or his followers. Continue Reading…

When Barack Obama was running for president he was attacked for being a Christian follower of Rev. Jeremiah Wright‘s church and espousing the views of black liberation theology.  Shortly after he was accused of being a follower of Islam in the footsteps of his Kenyan father .  Now, far right conservatives and the likes of Ann Coulter are stating that Obama is an Atheist.   Could anyone please explain how it’s possible to be a Muslim and an Atheist?   Make up your mind!

Vote in the Poll!

Pick one!

 Loading ...

Continue Reading…

May 22nd, the day after the supposed end of the world…………………..

Just sit back and imagine the market that single men will have.  Imagine the lost hope, lost faith and depression that so so many lonely doomsdayers will have when the great earthquake and rapture fails to happen on May 21st.  Sure, this is rebound play, but why ignore this excellent opportunity?      Just sayin’…………..

Even if rapture does happen, there will be millions of couples minus one spouse due to the mate floating off to be with Jesus.  So………on May 21st, get a haircut, throw on your finest threads and get ready to work on the greatest rebound play in history.

Or wear this shirt!

 

Rapture Vet – May 21st 2011 by doodiepants

And…..for the satirical nature of this post, keep in mind Mark 13:32 “”No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.”  http://bible.cc/mark/13-32.htm

If you’re a Bible Fan or a Rapture Vet and curious how these guys at FamilyRadio.com ended up with May 21st as the date, Continue Reading…

Is it really a surprise that porn was found on Bin Laden’s hard drives?   He was stuck in that compound for a long long time……. And, What would be real news; is a hard drive out there in the world that DOESN’T contain porn.

I was hoping they’d release this news even if it wasn’t true.  What an awesome stab at the supposed piety of this murderous Islamic fundamentalist!  Congrats to Bin Laden! Not only is he in good company with the likes of Hitler and Stalin but he now shares the ranks of famous religious hypocrites Ted Haggard, Jimmy Swaggart and Robert Tilton.  It wouldn’t be out of the question if it was gay porn either.  The Taliban and Militant Islamists of the region are known for their homosexual leanings.

Wired Magazine – We Have Found Bin Laden’s Porn Stash-

Osama bin Laden lived for as long as five years in a compound with no internet or phone communications. He found ways to occupy his time.

Intelligence officials sifting through the contents of bin Laden’s captured hard drives have made quite the discovery. “The pornography recovered in bin Laden’s compound in Abbottabad, Pakistan,” Reuters reports with an admirable deadpan, “consists of modern, electronically recorded video and is fairly extensive.” This is a great day for America.

If this is a CIA information operation — and how could it not be? — it’s the greatest one of all time. In public, bin Laden is the pious, self-proclaimed vanguard of a violent Islamic uprising. Alone in his compound, he’s beating it like it owes him cash.

Just to be That Guy, I tweeted at the Taliban’s English-language Twitter account what it makes of its old pal’s furtive encounters with himself. This is Internet Rule 34 to the Nth Degree.

“Please make it gay porn,” tweets the Washington Times‘ Continue Reading…

Good times Jihad....

What to do if you’re attracted to beardless youth?  Farted While Praying? How to Circumcise women?  This is part 2 of funny Sharia law questions from Islam Question and Answer………..Real questions from real people sent into real Sunni Islam scholars.

Click the link on each question to view the actual answer from the Islam Question and Answer site.

My wife will only have sex with me twice a week.  Is she allowed to do that?

Most definitely not!

“The wife is obliged to obey her husband if he calls her to his bed, and if she refuses then she is sinning, because of the report narrated by al-Bukhaari (32370 and Muslim (1436) from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him), that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If a man calls his wife to his bed and she does not come to him, and he goes to sleep angry with her, the angels will curse her Continue Reading…

Dirty Witches!

“Close allies of Iran’s president, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, have been accused of using supernatural powers to further his policies amid an increasingly bitter power struggle between him and the country’s supreme leader, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei.  Several people said to be close to the president and his chief of staff, Esfandiar Rahim Mashaei, have been arrested in recent days and charged with being “magicians” and invoking djinns (spirits).  Ayandeh, an Iranian news website, described one of the arrested men, Abbas Ghaffari, as “a man with special skills in metaphysics and connections with the unknown worlds”. The arrests come amid a growing rift between Ahmadinejad and Khamenei which has prompted several MPs to call for the president to be impeached.”

–Guardian.co.uk Article Source

Just in case you were curious…..Sorcery is taken very serious in Islam. Below is a little info from the Hadith concerning Jew witches casting a spell on the prophet Mohamed using hair, a comb and a date palm flower. The Link to the USC Hadith library are below the quoted text for verification. Continue Reading…

Due the to current Burqa ban in France, Various Ninja clans throughout the country complain that their traditional garb(similar to a burqa) is now under fire.  According to Ninja clan leader Shinobi Hagakure, head of the Local 413 Cross Cutters Union, “what are we supposed to do now?  Wear frosted bluejeans? Polos? That’s not very sneaky”.  He then performed a ninja facepalm.

Those that choose to wear Ninja outfits in Public will now be fined $150 and sent to a French citizenship course.  French authorities have reassured the Ninja population that shin guards, climbing spikes, staffs, rope and throwing stars are still within the bounds of the law.

For more details on the France Burqa ban Continue Reading…

Taliban Uses Poison Gas on Afghan School Girls

“Just like they tried to poison us, I’m going to poison them. But with words……and shame them with my education”

-Kabul School Girl

This video likely brings a feeling of total disgust and confusion.  How can actions like this be justified?  How can toolbag groups such as this still have support networks in the Islamic world?  Why not attack US forces and other infidel invaders?  The amount of brainwashing involved in bringing large groups of people to come to accept actions such as this is unbelievable.  Once again the Taliban have given credit and honor to the GayK-47 Shirt.

Be sure and see the videos below about education in Afghanistan and what the US Special Forces are doing in Afghanistan’s  Pesch valley. Continue Reading…

You ignorant Americans with your savage and macho patriotism. Chanting USA at a football game on 9/11 is incredibly insensitive to our Muslim population that has been constantly under attack by US imperialist actions.     It’s propaganda and an lowly militarism according to David Green; a University of Illinois Professor quoted in the independent publication “Daily Illini”.

Universities.....liberal cesspool breeding grounds.

“Patriots are prone to “obnoxious, fake-macho, chicken-hawk” chants.

Daily Illini – Block-I chant portrays ‘neither patriotism nor remembrance’

The vast majority of 9/11 observances in this country cannot be seen as politically neutral events. Implicit in their nature are the notions that lives lost at the World Trade Center are more valuable than lives lost in Afghanistan, Iraq, Palestine and elsewhere; that the motives of the 9/11 attackers had nothing to do with genuine grievances in the Islamic world regarding American imperialism; and that the U.S. has been justified in the subsequent killing of hundreds of thousands in so-called retaliation. Continue Reading…

According to the NY Times:

“Ninety percent of people have access to radios and they listen to the news very, very carefully,” Mr. Hafizullah said. Urged on by their mullahs, however, the protesters on Friday were determined to make a statement.  “If burning the Koran ever did happen,” he said, “every foreigner in this country, one hundred percent of them, will be in trouble. Every Muslim is responsible to show their reaction to that. It is the right thing to do.”

Picture from Violent Protests in Jalalabad, Afghanistan

Religion of Peace………….

Continue Reading…

Tomorrow, September 11th 2010 has been labeled by some as “International Burn a Koran Day” (Facebook Page Link)

Sure, it may be a total insult to burn the religious text of another faith.  It may be in bad taste.  It may be, “not nice” .

But shouldn’t we be focusing on the fact that there is a legitimate concern that people of a certain faith will react violently and people will die as a result.  People have been burning things in protest for years…..bras, flags, bibles, likenesses etc.   Burning a book is non-violent. Americans are now scared to protest a something that they don’t agree with and view as oppressive and violent.

Granted the Pastor, Terry Jones from “Dove World Outreach Centre” is a loony, but this whole situation makes you think.  If someone is going to burn a Koran in protest of large violent and oppressive factions of Islam………….isn’t telling them not to burn a book because people will get killed kind of illogical?   Basically you’re saying  “don’t protest violence, or it might get violent”.

Example:

Koran Burner: “I’m burning this Koran in protest of the violent and oppressive Islamic groups, governments, and attitudes the Koran has been used to support. ”

Obama:  “Don’t don that, this might cause a large group Muslims to get violent and kill people.”

Koran Burner:   Um………What?

I wish I could draw cartoons for the dialog above.  The whole situation doesn’t make sense.

Meanwhile Christian Churches are being burned in Iraq for being “Christian Churches“. Continue Reading…

Don't Worry Aisha....God's Cool with it.

I just found a fun website called Islam Question and Answer!   It’s tons of fun.  Just think of the stupidest questions you can think of,  search for them, and you’ll find long drawn out answers from Islamic councils and famous Muslim mullahs(priests).

Or…………….. you can just look through all of my silly questions and answers below.   I spent about 3 hours searching through this entertaining site.  It’s my first exposure to Islam and it’s been awesome!  I translated the questions a bit but kept the original meaning for each one.

One odd thing I found about this site and about Islam in general is; there are a ton of rules and commandments centered around peeing on your clothes, farting, having sex with your slaves and marrying Christian girls. You’ll see below.  I’m not making anything up. Each question  is a link to the original answer on the site.

Go ahead click the links……..not making anything up. Continue Reading…