Doodie Pants

Wait wait, ……a 1 foot gopher moat will not contain a bear?

Russian Scientists have proven that Gophers can only look dramatic.   Harassing bears with water ditches is not in the gopher’s natural task list.  Gophers are far better at getting millions of Youtube hits, destroying landscaping and ‘ridin’ dirty’.

To see just what the heck we’re talking about, see the Wonder Twins gopher moat video……. Continue Reading…

Why is President Barack Obama considered Black by mainstream media?  Why is there even a White\Black line when here are an infinite number of skin tones?   Is there a racial draft of some sort like on the Dave Chappelle Show?   I understand that he is the first US president with African heritage and that is significant considering the history of Africans in the US over the last 200 years, but……if his mother was a light shade of beige and his father was brown; what makes him black?

There seems to be some arbitrary line you cross that makes you part of the black or white community.  Here’s an article in the Orlando Sentinel about the “One Drop Rule”.  It appears that most of the US unconsciously follow this “One Drop Rule”.  With the recent debacle involving Harry Reid and his Obama Negro comments, this issue seems quite appropriate.

Hooray for the first lightly brown colored President of the United States.

See the “Racial Draft” Video and more of this post after the Jump. Continue Reading…

Apparently it’s acceptable in the United States to dress toddlers up like full grown women and parade them on a stage in their swimsuits so they can be rated on their body, face and outfit by a panel of judges.   This is not only a waste of time but it’s totally twisted.  How has this become acceptable?  I sure these pageants are swarming with dirty old men too.  Yuck……

What purpose does this serve besides Continue Reading…

We feel that Animals have the same rights as retarded children – Alex Pacheco, Cofounder PETA

“Arson, property destruction, burglary and theft are ‘acceptable crimes’ when used for the animal cause.” - Alex Pacheco

There is no rational basis for saying a human being has special rights. A rat is a pig a dog is a boy – Ingrid Newkirk, Co-Founder and president of PETA.

What about plants? Can we test on plants? They're alive too.

Ingrid didn’t say that she was against animal research if there was the possibility Continue Reading…

Feed them more bananas!

If you’ve watched the news in the last few days you couldn’t miss all the media coverage of the Justin Barrett case.  In the fallout from the Henry Louis Gates Jr. arrest, the Boston Police Department has suspended an officer named Justin Barrett for using a racial slur in reference to the Harvard professor in an email he sent to the Boston Globe.    He used the phrase “banana eating jungle monkey” to describe Gates in the email.  This was poor choice of words.  And in our current culture—— not a wise thing to say.

My skin is obviously light beige. I'm just furry.

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In the video below you’ll hear him below yap and say he’s sorry about how his word’s were perceived and how he was only referencing the behavior, not the man.  Then goes on to say the standard line that “I have friend from all different cultures and races” blah blah blah.   Doodiepants.com has devised a way better defense than that…….and no it’s not the Chewabaca defense.  Continue Reading…

In early 2005, a patch of concrete in a motorway underpass in Chicago gained worldwide attention.  Apparently the the Virgin Mary had shown herself in an image stained in concrete.  I guess this is a step up from appearing on Windex streaked buildings, toast, and oddly shaped Cheetos.  This was serious business though.  It wasn’t just water and salt run off as city officials had said; it was obviously Mary, the mother of Jesus trying to communicate with us.

In 2009, after hundreds of Candles and flowers were left in honor of the Virgin Mary, a streetside artist thought it would be funny to spray paint horns and ’666′ over the top of the apparition.  The police have since painted over the whole thing. I don’t understand the big deal.  We have NO idea what Mary looks like.  Has everyone forgotten where our images of the Virgin Mary came from in the first place?  They came from the creative minds of medieval painters and sculptors.  No one has clue what she looked like and never will. Even if these are supernatural apparitions, this image could very well be Janice Joplin or Mother Teresa  reaching out from the other side.  We know what they looked like……and they kinda look like the image in the concrete.

Yup, Mr. Graphiti Artist, this might piss some folks off.

Continue Reading…

Disclaimer: We are not pro- porn or pro-prostitution. (for the wives,moms, grandmas, and crazy aunts)

Can some one tell me what the difference is?  And why is one legal and the other not?

Do our laws even logically make sense?  It seems to be that all that is required is 2 consenting adults a camera and an intention to sell the video.   Then it’s legal to pay for it.    Where is the logic?   I understand that porn stars get tested, but prostitutes could too and it could be regulated the same and taxed.  So why the inconsistency in the logic of our laws?

This crazy ‘too much coffee before the vlog’  Phillip Defranco makes an excellent point about 34 seconds in.  It’s a not suitable for minors.

Jenna Jameson, the most famous pornstar/prostitute of the 21st century.